Tasigur, The Golden Fang (aka The Banana Man) used to be the spicy Gurmag Angler for control decks.  This was of course before Death Shadow crept out of the bulk bin cosplaying as Frank Reynolds with his classic problematic catch phrase “Suicide’s badass.” In eternal formats delve told you to ignore any generic mana costs. This finally gave Tarmogofy its first real competitors for beat stick extraordinaire. Now the main difference between Gurmag and Tasigur was a single point of power and an activated ability.
Let’s start with cards in the deck that best exemplify the “Bolt, Snap, Bolt” era. Versatile removal that’s cheap enough to hold up a second one, maybe even a third, just in case. Cards like Rapid Hybridization, Cyber Conversion, and Deadly Rollick provide spot removal at the right price with little restriction. More specifically, providing a creature in return for their cost falls right in line with Deadly Rollick’s cost reduction of needing your commander because the creatures provided are unlikely to make it past Tasigur.
a nope themed platform
As discussed in The Goose Deck deck-tech, green ramp is far and above abusing the color pie due to the social stigma placed on its one counter play, land destruction. Due to this loophole this deck focuses on playing extra lands with few cards needing to ever stay around. There’s the classic 2 mana green sorceries that fetch a single land allowing the deck to curve up to four mana every game. Extra land drop cards like Explorations, Oracle of Mul Daya, and Wrenn and Seven provide smooth transitions with the Ravnica bounce lands.
I wanted the most useless win condition and this led to running lab maniac fairly. The only way to win in a consistent manner is to go through every single card in my library, wearing out the entire table in the process. Like the colonnades of old by the time they’re even a consideration your opponents will be asking for a swift end that you simply will not want to give them.
Those Things That Get Us There
For the sake of continuity's sake, by all means this deck was inevitable given *Gestures broadly around the website you're currently browsing*. You get the point right? Good!
…you’re still here? Were the goose pictures not enough? Fine, but I’m warning you. There is some poor reasoning, mostly irrelevant anecdotes, and let’s call them choices waiting for you just beyond this sloppy intro. In a cascading chorus most of my friends have asked me at some point, “Beach, you’re gonna build this deck, right?” and with varying degrees of enthusiasm I responded, “Probably,” every time. I’m sure they all had a mental image of me shrugging and then walking off or at least I hope. Though some just assumed correctly and continued on living in the never end nightmare that is spoiler season. Now on paper this commander seemed like it would be right up my alley, but it's been 10 years and I’ve explored and decorated every inch of this Thursday trash pickup of an alleyway. I have a ramp deck, a voltron equipment deck, an artifact deck, and a token deck already. To its credit though The Goose Mother has the potential to include all 4 strategies. Did I end up including them all? kinda…
Ramp to Goose
Not all ramp cards are created equal. 21 of the 37 ramp cards have no additional benefits while the other 16 add to the deck’s effect pool. Legendary effects like haste from Runadi, fighting from Gargos, regrowth from Shigeki, and uhm… Urza, Lord High Artificer. Of course there are ramp cards that also draw cards because Simic would be nothing without its oatmeal mechanics, but we all know they single handedly keep our decks going. Cards like Kiora, and the other Kiora, and Urza, Lord High Artificer do their best to keep a deck of 21 do-nothing cards from top decking like a draft deck. Of course there is one ramp card above all else. The one that’s most in service of Honk, Urza, Lord High Artificer.
The Notorious Three
Evasion, draw, and protection, the three effects in every deck built with an ounce of compassion for their own commander. Of course goose fashion is an obvious inclusion for any Goose Mother deck complete with boots, cloaks, grieves, rings, and warhammers. Protective companions like Spearbreaker Behemoth and Archetype of Endurance can support the goose against even your opponent’s most mid plays. There are six generic draw spells that could be anything because let’s be honest most draw spells are interchangeable without notice. One draw spell stands above the rest though, Clan Crafter supports my deck in its darkest times. If you need cards the crafter transforms into a draw engine that can also allow a goose to double its power over time. Additionally crafter is my deck’s only haphazard answer to a Darksteel Mutation in a color combination that should really put up more of a fight against the basic concept of auras.
If You Ain’t First
Of Notes and Controversy
Now I know you probably already skimmed the decklist and are asking “Beach, why aren't there a lot of coin flipping / dice rolling effects?” because this isn't a deck about chance, it's about chaos. Chance multiplied will eventually give you the outcome you want, probably. Chaos is about living in the unknown, living in a world where friends become enemies, time flows out of order, and events without meaning are constant. This is the principle compass for my Norin the Wary commander deck. What happens, happens.
Cards of Havoc
A Mad Mad World
Six monkey paws
Because it’s a Red Deck